How to be single | RaiRambles

February seems to be the month of love. So I ended up writing a ramble, I feel like I haven’t rambled in ages and I recently saw ‘how to be single’ and felt like I wanted to talk about it, what I liked and relate it to my life haha! So enjoy me rambling for a bit! 

When walking into ‘How to be single’ I was expecting a romantic comedy. Yes the title was about being single but so many movies that talk about relationships end up being the same romantic movie where boy meets girl, girl meets boy. For those new here I love ‘500 days of summer’, I can watch it on repeat everyday for a year I enjoy it so much. I like cheesy movies that have hints of romance but are about finding yourself and changing your way of thinking rather than focusing on the actual romance. I love the thought of people coming into your life to teach you lessons rather than being that ‘love of your life’ and ‘happily ever after’ it may be a weird way of thinking but its my way to being able to move on from relationships romantic or otherwise. 

Not seeing a movie like it for a while ‘How to be single’ was a nice surprise. Now I’m not gonna straight up say it was a world breaking movie and that everyone will like it. No. A lot probably won’t but I don’t care. I did, I really liked it and I’m looking forward to owning it to watch again haha. A movie not everyone will like but I could watch on repeat a thousand times and be happy.

I liked the message. I liked seeing how all the characters developed and how their story’s intertwined. I thought it was a good ratio of plot and comedy. Rebel carrying most of the comedy but each character having their own brand of personality to it. My friend said she liked it cause she thought they’d all end up happy together but they went their own ways. As I said we were all expecting that familiar romantic element. 

Each character had their own romantic ways, the one night stand women who knows who she is and what she wants/doesn’t, is content and confident in herself and is okay not being romantically involved. The women caught up in fantasy, has a way to long list of who ‘Mr. Right’ is and ends up finding love in unexpected and unplanned ways, the women who is a ‘strong independent women who don’t need no man’ but comes to realize that you can be that but it’s still OK to want love. Then the main character who has only lived in relationships, romantic, friend and family based and has never been fully single. A single being. Voila, the movie. How to be single.

That’s when I realized that we weren’t supposed to be seeing this as a movie discovering how to act single but as a discovery movie on where you see yourself in life. I liked how it wasn’t just a film about being romantically single. It dealt with being away from family and friends as well. Juggling them all around you need to take time to yourself and enjoy that “single moment” where you are all alone, and as Alice says, that can be just a small moment of time, so enjoy it.

Learn to be you. For you. With you. Only you. 

As I said in my valentines post, I don’t think you are able to love someone else fully until you learn to love yourself and know who you are as a person first. As Robin says in the movie don’t get caught up in the “dick sand” haha going from one relationship to another without discovering yourself first, or healing from the last one can be more harmful than good. Life isn’t one way or the other, not black and white it was nice seeing the story line change and not have the classic boy and girl romance like I was expecting. 

I’ve only been single. I know so many ways to be single. I’ve been the one who doesn’t give a shit about relationships. I’ve had my I don’t believe in love stage. I’ve had plenty of crushes where it’s felt like I could be in love then laughed a month or two later at the infatuation of a person I don’t even know. I’ve fallen in love with falling in love with strangers for 5 minutes on the bus, coffee shop or customers at work. I’ve been unhappily single. Jealous of those stealing my friends away. Heart broken single. Lonely single. Joyous single. Lately, my favourite, not being single in the way of a relationship status. Single in a state of being one singular person happy when around those I’m in relationships with and happy when I am just me, alone, singular being. 

I hope I am now in that stage I want to be where a romantic relationship can happen naturally. I know learning about yourself and loving yourself is a never ending process. 

I’m both excited and terrified to not be single. To be a duo. It’ll be an adventure I’ll give you that. If life has told me otherwise so far haha. I’m open to romance, I’m open to heartbreak. I know that each will be a lesson that I will be strong enough to eventually move forward from. (Well I hope so anyway haha)

But the best thing I’ve learnt so far is that being single is awesome. Having alone time is great. Being happy just being me is amazing and I’m so glad I’ve learnt to do so.

 Love Always,