Thursday, 8 September 2016

Getting a handle on it | Bully Series

If there is one thing that you learn from being bullied, its how to handle it when it keeps happening. You do, in a sense grow thicker skin. I wish that we didn't have to learn how how to handle it because bullying should never happen, but it does, so knowing what to do and how to get help is very important.

Remember you aren't alone, the first move is to reach out for help.

How I have handled bullying | I was taught from a young age to treat everyone with kindness. Even those who hurt me. To turn the other cheek so to say. Which (as I was a literal child) I actually did once when someone hit me, turned the other cheek, they were confused and left me well alone. I do not recommend that now however, people are a lot more aggressive these days.

I then developed thinking a lot of; if they are doing this to me there must be a reason. I started to look past their cruelties to me and look for why they were doing it. One of the girls I found out had an awful family background, once I had realized that I started to ignore her bulling and just give back kindness. We ended up being friends for a while. 

A lot of how I've gotten out of situations is just ignoring the person until they get bored. If there is no reaction out of you that they can see they soon stop all together.

Tips for how to handle online/offline bullying |

Treat them with kindness: I'm not saying you let them get away with what they are doing. Just that a lot of people will be stunned that you are still kind to them if they are being harsh. It throws them off their game. 
Ignore: Ignore that this is happening. Not saying to not tell anyone I'm a big believer you should tell a friend, family member or teacher/colleague. But if you start to ignore all trys of them bringing you down they will get bored and move on.
Tell someone: As soon as I was bullied I let people know. Friends and family are important in making you feel safe and well. If you can't escape the bully this support group will make all the difference. 
Be confident: This may sound strange and hard to do in this situation. But a couple of my bullies were acting out due to jealousy. A lot of people who have teased me about my body have had their own problems. So own your body, be comfortable with it and show them you don't care what they think, you love yourself the way you are. It may be hard and false at the beginning but they don't need to know your doubts they just need to know it isn't effecting you in that moment.
Step into their shoes: Something I find easier than some. A lot will look at me and go why should I care about them if they are hurting me? As an adult I have taught myself to step back and consider all aspects on the situation. Yes it is hard, but doing so may lead you to a conclusion you may not have thought of to stop it faster and safer.


Block: I'm going to start with the obvious. If you are being cyber bullied remember that blocking them is one click away. 
Don't let it snowball: If there is one thing I've seen recently its misunderstandings between people that have been hashed out in front of everyone. If you want clarification keep it private and work it out. Having disagreements in front of such an online and open audience leads to people choosing sides and ganging up on people
Report: Keep all evidence of the bullying and report the user. Odds are you aren't the only one they are targeting and its best to get them off the platforms. It may take multiple tries but it will be worth it knowing you got the justice and saved others from their torment. 
Tell family and friends: Letting people who are offline know about what is happening lets you make the situation feel more real and get a safety net in your immediate life, which can be a lifesaver. If you separate online and offline you may feel trapped in this online life and carry the bully around with you 24/7.  
 

How to get help | 
Family and Friends: Your number one support group. They will help you find extra help, analyze the situation and let you get the anger and sadness out in a safe environment. Do not be afraid to reach out for them!
Teachers/Managers: If you are at school or work and are being bullied remember that there are people who have measures in place to help the situation.
Helplines: There are so many organizations out there these days that give help 24/7 you can remain anonymous and have a professional to talk to about whatever you need to get off your chest. 
I tried googling some helpful sites/helplines for you just in case!
Australia - ReachOut
Europe - SupportLine
America StopBullying 

I hope I gave enough tips that I've learnt from experience to help anyone who is being bullied at the moment. Always remember; you are not alone, it is okay to ask for help and that you are not to blame. 

If you have anything to add please write it in the comments to help anyone who needs it!

Love Always, 

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