Thursday, 15 September 2016

Change and Happiness | Bully Series

I am lucky enough to know that change is possible over time. Even though I have experienced a heck load of bullying and still do to this day I have been able to change the way I view it. Separate myself from it, and find happiness around the corner. 

 
In the final part of the series I want to talk about how we can help ourselves find happiness and how we can take a step back to make sure we are doing whatever possible to not add to the horrors of bullying.


I look at it as a change in mindset.

That change in mindset being self confidence and love. Now I can see you reading this through your screen all "she thinks its that easy?" and you're right. It isn't. I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, heck I pretended for the longest time to love myself when I didn't. I still have days where I have to pretend I'm loving life and the way I look but it becomes more real over time.

If you take time to consider what it is you are being bullied about and accept that it is part of who you are and come to love it. The bullies lose power over it. So become your own beacon of light and learn to accept yourself. Self love is such an important step to conquer bullying. 

Whether its looking in the mirror and accepting the shape of your nose, or not giving a damn if you like that TV show they hate, or dressing how you like even if it's not on trend, or being to shy to go to that party and staying home instead. Do what you love, do what makes you comfortable and don't let the bullies tell you anything else.

Learn to be proud of who you are. Its a journey but a great one. 

 
As well as your own self love having a support group around you is also a must. If I didn't have friends in both real life and online who support me it would've been a much harder battle. So if you find yourself with people who are just bringing you down go out and search for those you can surround yourself with who boost you up and help you on a happy successful journey.

   
What I also want to talk about is the bigger picture. Apart from ourselves. How can we make a positive change and create happiness not just for us but for others?

In today's age, a lot of our socializing is done online, mixed messages and emotions create a much scarier place. A place where we're able to hide behind a screen or have a miscommunication that leads to fighting. I've seen it happen all to often so I'd like all of us to take a step back and evaluate how we stick up for others and how we ourselves are treating others. 

Again I come back to mindset. If we start becoming more aware of peoples feelings rather than just our own we would have a better and nicer outlook. Now again I know you're reading this thinking "Rai, are you out of your mind?". No, I don't think I am. Yes take offense if you have been hurt but I do beg you to stop for a moment before you utter/type the next word and just consider a better option.  

Think of it as that old time saying, treat others how you'd like to be treated. 

So how do I think we can start being aware of our input and making a better change? 

- Be civil. Don't go in all guns blazing. If someone has upset you or you are getting a weird message contact them privately first. I've seen so many miscommunications being hashed out in front of everyone that haven't been solved and have become full on cat fights. When one simple "hey what do you mean by this" and "oh I meant it like this" could've fixed it.

- Step in their shoes. Something I try to do as often as possible. If I can take a step out of the situation and look at it from both sides. I usually see the pain from each and can come to a faster more positive solution. Try it in the future, it may just help!

- How would you like to be treated if it was flipped? If you were coming from a bad place and was met with more hostility would you like it? I know turning the other cheek is hard but if we use positiveness against the bullying or any negative situation, the outcome will be a lot nicer.
 
- Be there for friends. If you see someone being attacked message them privately and see if you can talk it out. I say this only because I see a lot of people do it publicly and it leads to name calling and insulting which unfortunately leads to people ganging up on each other and more hate.

- Compliment and raise people up. Be the change you want to see. If you see this bullying and hate, start creating a world of positivity and love. The more we reach out to one another in a loving light the faster the bullying will slow and hopefully stop all together.


We are all still going to have days where we are unhappy in a bullying situation. But if we look into ourselves and start to push forward to a more positive outcome we will see the sunshine again. 

Bullying is tough. It sucks big time. It is in every part of our lives. Unfortunately so but still true in this day and age. But we will become stronger, wiser and kinder. I believe it, I hope you do to.

If you want to chat, make more suggestions or just have ramble, feel free to in the comments!

Love Always,



 
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